Real Talk About Relationships and Married Life

Posts tagged ‘Woman’


Understanding How Women Communicate Part 1

clarityWhen you travel across the globe, one of the things you quickly learn is that there are cultural differences that play a major factor in relationship building. Depending on the understanding or lack thereof between cultures, you can either build successful relationships that blossom into wonderful exchanges of information and learning experiences, or your interactions can be challenged and weighed down by misconceptions and constant misunderstandings. However, one thing for sure is that no matter where you go in the world, how women interact with one another will most definitely set the tone for any environment.

How women “feel,” is a matter of importance and can shape a community or village. This rings true whether you are in Africa, Europe, the Caribbean, or North America. It does not matter if men think a woman‘s feelings are rational, sound, or based on logical reasoning, the truth still remains that if a woman feels a certain way, that is how she feels and no woman need ever apologize for how she “feels.” It’s her truth. Likewise, it makes no sense to argue with a person’s “feelings.” It is their truth.

What many men do not understand is that women have a fundamental need to express how they “feel” in order to be healthy and happy. The relationships they engage in whether it is with men or other women must be ones that help them to “feel” physically, mentally, and emotionally safe to express how they feel. If a relationship ceases to give feelings of safety to express how she feels, a woman will most likely distance herself from that relationship or become closed with respect to meaningful interactions.

Through the process of expression, women work through very powerful emotions that drive the course and dynamics of their relationships and help them to feel a sense of overall well-being. A woman’s feelings are the tender or sensitive side of her nature, and if she feels that her “feelings” are not important, do not matter, or not considered, she will retreat from the relationship whether it is deemed appropriate or not because she perceives this as danger, and women need to feel safe.

Women are masters of communicating subtly and often they send messages to one another as women that often go beyond a man’s conscious awareness. How women “feel” about other women are mostly derived from subtle forms of communication that has occurred between them. This exchange, while many times happens in the presence of men, it’s often outside of their perception or intuitive sense. This is the area that sparks many arguments in relationships, especially about other women.

So a message to husbands who may not fully comprehend the “drama” going on, take a closer look at the interaction between the women around you. Ask your wife about how she is feeling. When she tells you, don’t minimize her feelings or the magnitude of how she feels about the situation. There just might be some major battles going on and the truth is perhaps you might just be the “booty.”


5 Character Traits That Help Women Achieve Relationship Success

happy couples budget 230Have you ever wondered why some women seem to have no problem “getting” really great men while others struggle in that department and seem to always pick up the “deadbeats?” Have you noticed how sometimes you can see a really great looking guy, seems like he has everything going for him, and you look at the arm candy on his arm and wonder to yourself, how in the world did she get him?

See, it’s like this. When men look for marriage material, they are looking much deeper than the coke bottle figure, the Farrah Fawcett hair, the perfect nails and skin, the great job or bank account. Mothers matter to men, and men in the market to marry are usually looking for some very specific attributes and some of these characteristics are home-grown and doesn’t fall very far from the tree in his back yard. When looking for a woman to marry, his mother becomes a key factor in that decision-making process. If he had a good mother and a healthy respect for his mother or the main female guardian figure during his impressionable years, then he will look for a woman who has similar attributes. If he had a horrific childhood experience with his mother or main female care provider, he will look for someone very different and literally run from any woman who reminds him of her. Either way, his mother becomes a big factor in the wife selection process.

Previously we discussed five mindsets that hinder some women from experiencing relationship success. Here, I want to talk about five attributes that help women to achieve relationship success.

Firm & Feminine Francis

Firm and Feminine Francis is a woman who says what she means and means what she says. She is strong yet is able to balance her strength with femininity. She commands what she desires and deserves through her actions. She does not let a man get away with games or walk all over her and she sets the tone at the onset of the relationships. She knows what she wants and accepts nothing less. She is not desperate and knows who she is and her value. Firm and Feminine Francis can inspire a man to be his best self by being her best self. She demonstrates in her carriage and persona what she is about and therefore, men who approaches her does so with honor and respect, because to do otherwise, would be to get shut down in the most feminine and delicate way.

Men love this type of woman because she brings out the best in him, helps him to feel a sense of freedom to express his creativity and vision, while not allowing him to be mediocre.

Confident and Cooking Caroline

Confident and Cooking Caroline has a strong sense of self and needs no man to define her or who she is. She possesses the ability to complement her mate and understands that the quickest way to his heart is through his stomach. Confident and Cooking Caroline is a great cook, has impeccable manners, and a genuinely warm person, which usually gets her labeled as one of those “southern girls.” She keeps her house and has no shame is doing so. She is not a big talker but rather a doer and a quiet companion. She is not a needy woman, and secure in who she is. Men love this type of woman because she is dependable, reliable and emotionally even keel. He can always count on her through thick and thin and she brings him joy.

Sensible and Sensual Sandy

Sensible and Sensual Sandy is the type of woman who has learned how to balance her career and her home. She is spunky, outgoing and is a master at multi-tasking. She may not be able to prepare the best home-cooked meal, but she can cook in other ways, and order up whatever she needs to keep her man happy. Parley is her strong suit and her counseling abilities, as well as the way she tends to her physical attributes keep all eyes on her. She just seems to make everything all right. Men like Sensible and Sensual Sandy because she is a great listener, knows how to shake things up, while keeping things balanced, she is a true helper, and has tact. She is the type of woman who can carry the weight if for some reason he can’t.

Nurturing Nancy

Nurturing Nancy is the type of woman who is like a man’s mother but in a good way. She has many of the attributes of his mother. Nurturing Nancy is good friends with her man’s mother. She learns how to make his favorite meals; she learns how to fold his clothes the way he is accustomed, she learns everything she needs to learn from the first woman in his life, and her home makes him feel at home and reminds him of when he was growing up. Nurturing Nancy has strong mothering qualities, while not letting him forget she is wife material. She is subtle in maintaining her dominion and “Queen Ship” while keeping things “hunky-dory” and at peace with his mother. Nurturing Nancy has a delicate and gentle hand. Men love this type of woman because she is graceful as she offers familiarity and stability.

Trustworthy & Tenacious Trudy

Trustworthy and Tenacious Trudy has a strong backbone and help things remain cohesive stuck together. She is the type of woman who keeps things organized and in order, while being a great friend and partner in business and play. Trustworthy and Tenacious Trudy is down to earth, real, a great ear and her counsel is solid. She is no fuss, no frills, and unpretentious. She is hot or cold, never lukewarm. Trustworthy and Tenacious Trudy is a deeply spiritual woman. She is not judgmental, but she will hold you accountable and responsible for your words and your actions. She is nurturing and steadfast. Men love this type of women because she is a great friend and accepts him for who he is, stands by his side and he trusts her and knows he can manifest his vision with her.

Whether a woman holds any one of these attributes or a combination of them, one thing for sure is, it is not something you can feign. In order to be marriage material, a woman must be authentic. If you attempt to gain a man’s attention based on superficial pretenses, then what you will get is a superficial man. The best attribute a woman can bring to the relationship table is her true and authentic self. That is the best place to start.

Your comments and feedback are welcomed and encouraged.

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