Real Talk About Relationships and Married Life

Posts tagged ‘Intimate relationship’

From Dating to Marriage- The Process with Ingram & Atiya

“From DATING to MARRIAGE”- The process with Ingram & Atiya

In this video Husband & Wife Team Ingram & Atiya discuss the process from dating into married life. Both share their experiences and give some useful coaching relationship tips.

How to Date
How To Love
How to get married
Relationship Tips
Relationship Coaching
Ingram & Atiya


21 Day Twin Soul Journey Of The Heart- A Free Gift From ATIYA

Twin Soul Journey of the Heart
A FREE Meditation & Spiritual Retreat

Welcome to the Light!
I AM ATIYA – The Marriage Strategist.

What if all you had to do was make one minor shift to have a great relationship and marriage?

What if finding the right person was really very simple and not as hard as many might think?

You can have:

a happy and safe emotional environment.

a committed, secure, and enduring relationship.

a steamy and hot sex life.

a new perspective of yourself, your life,and your relationship.

I know that there are numerous marriage counselors in the U.S. and a vast selection of worldwide couples therapy programs to choose from. However, my conversation with you as The Marriage Strategist and a professional marriage and relationship coach is about awakening to the awesome power of love to experience the most fulfilling relationship ever imaginable on a soul level.

Let me show you how:

to connect on a soul level.

to move into a positive and rewarding experience for both you AND your partner.

to experience a life and relationship filled with mutual inspiration and genuine respect.

to establish a solid, healthy and happy enduring relationship that leaves both you and your mate personally empowered.

If you are not married, then let me show you how to make a soul-to-soul connection.

All you have to do is:


Work with me and I guarantee that your life and relationship will not
be the same. The transformational value that you will receive and the
tangible results that you will realize when you and your mate commit
to the process and your success, will be amazing!


Learning to Love Yourself, Even After Marriage

In this message, Atiya discusses the importance of loving yourself before marriage and after marriage, and how love for self is a pre-requisite to knowing how to show love to your mate and others. She answers a question that was presented to her in a coaching session. For more information, please visit us online at

To explore coaching with Atiya, please go to:

The Marriage Tree offers affordable, effective, and innovative 
Programs & Courses for couples and individuals that provides lasting results.

Authenticating Your Marriage

In this message, Atiya discusses how to Authentic Your Marriage and the importance of being honest and open to your mate.  For more information, please visit us online at To read the full article, please go to:


The Secret to Getting Him to Say, “I Do!”

Men marry women they need and not necessarily who they want. In this message, Atiya shares with women a few tips on how to encourage their partners to marry them. For more information, please visit online at To read the full article, please go to:


Science of Lovemaking

In this message, Atiya shares 4 tips on how to spice things up in your relationship. For more information, please visit online at To read the full article, go to:


Developing a Wealth Consciousness for Your Marriage

In this message, Atiya discusses the importance of fiscal responsibility and being aware of how you utilize your resources in marriage. For more information, please visit us online at To read the article, go to:


Fighting Fair in Your Relationship

fight fairIn the past, I have actually coached a couple who right there in front of me, got into an all out drug out war of words. For all intended purposes, the way they went at it, I might as well had popped some popcorn, got a coca cola, put my feet up, sat back and watched the entertainment. This couple acted such a fool. They went from name calling, playing the dozens to things being drug up from another lifetime. This couple argued about everything, and the arguments would start over something like, “Stop leaving your shoes in the middle of the floor.”

Some couples fight over the silliest matters but claim to love one another. However some of the immature exchanges and the foul way they handle each other leads me to ask the question, “What’s love got to do with it?”

Couples who behave in this manner fail to realize that they cannot take words back. Sure, they can apologize later, but the damage has already been done and the words have already made a deep impact. If you are one of those couples where one or both of you get so angry that you storm out of the house, name call, talk about his mama or her baby daddy of the baby that you’re not the daddy of , hurl insults or stonewall or attack your partner’s character then you are NOT FIGHTING FAIR. Further, ultimately your FOUL way of communicating will destroy your relationship or marriage.

First let me say that it is natural and healthy to argue. Arguing is no more than simply expressing your reasoning for or against a matter. It is healthy because through loving instances of discourse, very important communication is taking place. The problem is when people become disrespectful in the process and take the conversation out of the “safe zone.” (i.e. Name calling, yelling, playing the dozens, stonewalling, mocking, invalidating, etc.).

Stonewalling is not talking to your mate at all or not listening to your mate. Women usually stonewall by giving their partner the silent treatment. Men usually stonewall by totally refusing to listen or interact. Yet in these battles for power and winning, everyone loses – the husband, the wife and the children. Also, family and friends lose because they are often put in the middle or end up having to listen to the madness. It becomes very messy and in these types of situations, everyone’s hands get dirty. What they say about misery loving company, doesn’t even adequately describe what it looks like when husband and wife lose all sense of civility when fighting.

While fighting is a normal part of any healthy relationship, there is a healthy way to fight. So here are eight ways that will help a couple keep their relationship on track during an argument.

8 Ways to Keep an Argument Healthy

1. Open Your Discussion in Prayer – Opening your discussion in prayer will invoke a higher principle in the mix and help to temper both people in the exchange.

2. Use the LTL Formula – The Listen-Talk-Listen formula ensures that both parties will listen twice as much as they talk. Steven Covey in his book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, provides a habit that couples can adopt. “Seek first to understand, and then be understood.” If you and your mate practice just that one habit, there will be a whole lot more understanding in the relationship.

3. Create a Safe Emotional Space for Communicating – It’s important to create an emotionally safe space for your mate to be able to communicate. This is the responsibility for both people. Safety means no yelling, no character attacks, no blaming (you did this or you did that…), no invalidating (that’s stupid, silly, or crazy), no stonewalling, and no judging each other. Remember that your mate is not the problem, the problem is the problem. Make the problem the enemy not your mate. So the two of you can attack the problem as a united front.

4. Use “I Feel” and Avoid Extremes Such as “You Always” or “You Never” – When you use the words, “I feel” as opposed to you did this or you did that, it removes the defense mechanisms that people automatically put up when they feel they are being attacked. Also avoid extremes such as “always” or “never.” Extremes are usually an over exaggeration of the truth.

5. Don’t Interrupt – It is important to listen to your mate and not interrupt them or talk across them. If necessary, put time frames on bringing a discussion and put a time frame on rebuttals and go back and forth until an agreement can be reached. Even if you end up not seeing eye-to-eye, agree on how you will handle the matter in the future.

6. Use a Trigger Word – Trigger words or also referred to as “Safe Words.” They are words such as time-out, pause, stop, or uncle. The purpose of these words is to invoke them during an argument that is beginning to escalate out of control. The agreed upon word is used consistently when necessary during discussions to allow the two of you to cool down, then come back to the conversation. The timeframe for the pause or time-out may be 15-minutes, 30-minutes or an hour. It all depends on what you agree to. However, the two of you must come back to the discussion to resolve the matter.

7. Address Issues as They Come Up – It is important not to let anger build up. Discuss things while they are small instead of waiting until they blow out of proportion. Also avoid going to bed angry. Resolve your matters promptly so that they don’t become bigger than what they would have been if you had addressed them early on.

8. Ask Your Mate Resolution Questions – It is both natural and important to discuss the problems in a relationship thoroughly. Yet, once the problem has clearly been outlined from both perspectives, it is critical that both of you move the discussion to a problem-solving format. In other words, just don’t complain about it, now work together to do something about it. An example of a resolution question is, “Honey, how can I help so that you don’t feel that way?”

There are many things that happen in a relationship which triggers an argument or fight between couples. It happens; but just because you had a fight is not cause to be concerned. The time to be concerned is when the fighting and argument goes afoul. So couples remember to argue in the best manner and in a loving way. Remember that your mate is your ally, not your enemy. If you have been fighting in an unfair manner, make a paradigm shift and evolve your relationship to a more healthy state.


Why It’s Important to Make “Your Girl” Happy

How to Please a Woman Book Cover course photoA common theme or consensus among some men is that women are hard to please, they are never happy no matter what you do, and they just don’t know what they want. While that may be the truth in some camps, it is not necessarily an accurate statement from an overall perspective. Take it from a woman; a man has the power to make any woman happy just by hitting the mark on a few simple things. By doing those things consistently, you would have discovered the secret to putting a perma-grin on your “girl’s” face and whenever she walks into a room it would be like the sun coming out on a rainy day.

Keeping her happy has very little to do with how well you perform in the bedroom, but everything do with how well you are able to make love to her mind. A woman will pull out all stops to satisfy her man when he meets her fundamental needs as a woman. Remember she is a multiplier of what you give, thus if you want a return on your investment, you must utilize your capital wisely in order to gain profitable returns. Otherwise you lose and your relationship becomes bankrupt.

There’s a saying, “A happy woman makes a happy home.” You can have heaven or hell at home and it pretty much depends on the state of mind of the queen of the castle. Yet, the truth is, anytime you have more than one female in an environment, every one of them know intuitively that they are a queen, and thus vie for their rightful place. Women have the power to change an entire atmosphere of a place and if just one in the environment is unhappy everybody can feel it and if you do not understand how this thing works or use wisdom to balance out the estrogen, then your paradise can become your purgatory.

Let me remind you, “Heaven has no rage like love turned to hatred, nor Hell a fury, like a scorned woman.” Scorned means rejected and when a woman feels rejected the pain she feels if not managed can cause disdain and contempt to ensue toward he who she feels has rejected her. To not seek to make her happy yet expect her to make you happy is inciting hell’s fury in your home and your life. To refuse to do the simple things necessary to contribute to your partner’s happiness is perceived as refusing her…a rejection of her. At that point husband, you bring on hell’s wrath in your home.


You may be one of those men who take the position that it is not your personal responsibility to make “your woman” happy; and you would be well within your right to say that because a person’s individual happiness is a personal choice. No one can really “make” another person happy. You have to be willing to choose happiness for yourself. However, wisdom teaches that it would be to your advantage as a man and husband to work to please your wife because of the multitude of benefits a happy woman brings to “her man,” his stomach, and his mind. Her home and interpersonal relationships will also reflect her state of being.

You might think that it is not a matter of importance to do what is within your power to do to make your significant other happy, but if you don’t someone else will. The five simple things that women need to be fulfilled in an intimate relationship is the very thing that is usually lacking which causes you as a man not to get what you need and want.

If you want the food, sex, and peace of mind on a regular basis then come on with the come on. Yes, there are many “other” places you might be able to get what you need and want, but nothing beats good home-cooking. I guarantee you, any woman’s door you go knocking on to get what you need, will still require you to first give her what she needs – those five simple things. So in the quest for instant gratification which very well may be there for you at a cost, you’ll find that it will require you to provide long-term satisfaction. Are you sure it’s a price you are willing and able to pay?

When you take care of home, you will find that everything you want and need is right there and not even for the asking. She is wired to please her man, when he punches in the right codes.

Making Your “Girl” Happy Gives You:

1. A better sex life

2. Good ole’ fashioned home-cooked meals

3. Sweet conversations

4. Peace of mind

5. Finger-lickin’ good with a smile

Making Your “Girl” Happy Eliminates:

1. Nagging and complaining

2. Tears

3. Drama

4. Headaches

5. Unruly and bad-#@! children

Now, I told you the why, if you want to know the how, I invite you to register for the next session of “How to Please a Woman Empowerment Course for Men.” For more information, visit us online at Registration is now open for the session starting in July.


Seven Processes to Inspire You to Go From Ordinary to Extraordinary (Keys 107 Radio Live)

7 processes audio coverJust a note that I have something for you. The other day I was on Keys 107 and it was a really great show because I was able to offer some really useful tips to help you move forward in your life. I list seven processes that you can use to really get things going for you. It is an hour long but hey listen to it in spurts if you need to, but by all means be sure to listen.

It is available as a free audio download. You definitely do not want to miss it. So here’s the link to download it FREE. That’s right FREE! Because in truth this is some really great stuff and people will pay for this kind of information, but I wanted to share it with you. Enjoy it and let it bless your life! SMILE.

Seven Processes to Inspire You to M.O.V.E. From Ordinary to Extraordinary


Yours Truly,


P.S. By the way, if you haven’t already, you may want to go to and sign up for the email list.

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