Real Talk About Relationships and Married Life

Posts tagged ‘Ingram Jones’


Food Time – Cooking With Atiya

Atiya, the Marriage Strategist and her husband, Ingram are having fun in the kitchen, while discussing some relevant husband/wife issues. Enjoy the way they bring up serious issues in a light-hearted and funny way.

Your comments are welcomed and appreciated. SMILE.


Building a Marriage

Atiya, the Marriage Strategist discusses what it takes to build a successful marriage in less than two minutes.


How to Help Your Man Go From Unemployed to Super Hero

superdog 2Ladies. Listen up! What you may call a bum or lazy dog is really a “Wonder Dog” in the making and simply needs you to help him tap into his “puppy power.”

The number one way to support a man when he is searching for a job, unemployed, or haven’t quite figured things out, is to encourage him and “big up” his gifts and talents. Men need to be admired and appreciated and made all over. When a woman consistently reinforces his worth and value as a man and remind him of all the things she admires and appreciates about him, it helps to give him the necessary drive and positive energy to do more and better.

The worst thing to do is criticize him. Instead, reaffirm that he is still the man and remind him that it is not about finding a job or role that he is worthy of, but rather discovering one that perhaps might be worthy of him. Remind him that his time and energy is just as valuable as the one seeking to hire an employee and any company or organization would be foolish not to take the opportunity to work with such a fantastic and brilliant man.

It’s important to understand that men often equate their value by the size of their pockets, and when many feel that they do not measure up, they may project their own feelings of lack of self-worth and insecurity on their mate, especially if their mate is a girl that rocks and manifesting in the financial department!

During a time when a man is out of work, many become resentful and will tend to project their disappointments and frustration on their wives or mates. This is not a rule, but passing blame happens. In this dynamic, a woman has to be mature, and put on her big girl draws and not make it about her but make the situation about what her man needs, and then what the household needs. She determines the positive energy flow in the house and therefore must not allow herself to succumb to negativity or react to it when it presents its ugly head.

While it is not helpful for a woman to help her man “look” for a job unless he specifically asks her to do that, she can give him encouraging space, meaning the room for him to see his greatness and then take responsibility to transform his situation. She can motivate and inspire him to have a fantastic outlook on finding something that is suitable to him by reminding him of what he is good at during regular conversations with him. She can “plant the seeds of positivity” as he figures it out. She can encourage him to do something he has always wanted to do and even inspire him to not just “look” for a job but consider “creating” one for himself.

How to Help Your Man Go From Unemployed to Super Hero by:

  • Ask him what you can do to help and be willing to follow through.
  • Write a letter of recommendation or reference on his behalf.
  • Validate his gifts and talents and vouch for him.
  • Help make the process of becoming employed a fun one and help him to view it as an amazing and new opportunity to create the life he chooses, rather than a stressful time.
  • Clear off the kitchen or dining room table and help him plan a strategy for self-employment or business that you are willing to invest in either with your time, talent, and/or your resources.

There are so many creative ways to support a man when he is out of work and help him to have a healthy outlook in his situation. Yet one of the biggest keys is to let him know without a shadow of a doubt that the money or job does not make the man but the character of the man is what makes a man and that no matter who out there does not believe in him, that you believe in him and together the two of you can get through it!

From Dating to Marriage- The Process with Ingram & Atiya

“From DATING to MARRIAGE”- The process with Ingram & Atiya

In this video Husband & Wife Team Ingram & Atiya discuss the process from dating into married life. Both share their experiences and give some useful coaching relationship tips.

How to Date
How To Love
How to get married
Relationship Tips
Relationship Coaching
Ingram & Atiya


Why Not Sex Before Marriage


This is a message from Ingram Jones. It is a very powerful yet easy listening message. It behooves anyone to take the time to listen. SMILE.


This is Our World, Ep. 7


Response to a Comment on 7 Mindsets that Hinder Black Men From Relationship Success

small photo for spreakerRecently, Ingram Jones wrote an article that is posted on Black Life Coaches Network entitled, 7 Mindsets that Hinder Black Men From Relationship Success. This article has apparently stirred up some folks and now their britches aren’t quite touching their behind. SMILE.

Normally I would only respond to a comment when it warrants it in the forum where the comment was posted and where the article is published. However, one comment on his article required in my observation a more expanded response as the very subject matter that Ingram was touching on drew such anger form one woman in particular, and I was puzzled as to why? Seven Mindsets that Hinder Black Men From Relationship Success in my opinion was an article in defense of Black women. yet one woman was so angry about the article that she even resorted to name-calling.

So, I am asking all of you to please take the time to read the article, and give your feedback on it. Ms. Diallo suggested the article did not belong in a forum about Black male and female relationships. What are your thoughts on that? Let’s open this up for discussion.

In the meantime, below please see the comment posted about the article by Ms. Diallo, and my response to her.

Comment posted by Chantaey Renee’ Diallo:

“Diaspora pertains to Black people of African descent dispersed throughout the world, mostly because of slavery! How dare you use the term to describe your nasty, dirty, sexual hellbaths with every type of female racial dog under the sun! Nobody is impressed with your weak, ugly choices and diversities of perversion and it has no place in a forum about Black male-female relationships! Be gone!”

Response Posted by ATIYA – The Marriage Tree:

“Ms. Chantaey Renee’ Diallo,

I am not sure of the root of your anger or your bitterness about the article that was very well articulated by my husband. However, perhaps you misunderstood it. As we know, words have many meanings and can take on shape depending on the orientation of mind of the one who hears or read them. I would recommend that perhaps you do some soul searching to explore why you are so angry over the article that was specifically geared toward men and a response to the article that I wrote., The Five Mindsets that Hinder Black Women from Relationship Success.

The term Diaspora while in most case understandings may refer to Black people that were dispersed or scattered throughout the world as a result of slavery; however that is not the only meaning of the word or the only correct reference of it. The etymological root of the word diaspora is to scatter about, disperse, or across. The context in which my husband used the word is not only grammatically correct, it is accurate. Perhaps you are overly sensitive about the word itself as a result of having a limited understanding of it, have some deeper seated issues regarding Black men who date other “races,” or have a deeper issue with respect to men in general. Perhaps you should read my article, The Five Mindsets that Hinder Black Women From Relationship Success.

The article written by Ingram Jones is most definitely in the correct forum,and your response to it verifies that it is! With all due respect, as a strong Black Woman of integrity, character, and substance who is no doubt walking in purpose and married to an amazing man of character, integrity, and substance, it is my observation that perhaps you might want to go within to discover some things that perhaps may need addressing because your manner of reproach perpetuates the very issue that you appear to be sensitive about.

When articulating your position in such forums. It is one thing to intelligently state your case in a respectful and dignified manner, but to be blatantly disrespectful and abusive to resort to name-calling and character assassination is not only immature, but it is a manifestation of something else. Your problem is not with Ingram’s article but rather one with self, and that is something that you will have to work out. In the meantime, when responding to articles that you may not necessarily agree with, it is your right to do so and actually makes for some wonderful dialogue. However when doing so you may want to exercise some self-control, self-mastery, and more importantly some respect.”

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