Real Talk About Relationships and Married Life

Posts tagged ‘Hinder’


Response to a Comment on 7 Mindsets that Hinder Black Men From Relationship Success

small photo for spreakerRecently, Ingram Jones wrote an article that is posted on Black Life Coaches Network entitled, 7 Mindsets that Hinder Black Men From Relationship Success. This article has apparently stirred up some folks and now their britches aren’t quite touching their behind. SMILE.

Normally I would only respond to a comment when it warrants it in the forum where the comment was posted and where the article is published. However, one comment on his article required in my observation a more expanded response as the very subject matter that Ingram was touching on drew such anger form one woman in particular, and I was puzzled as to why? Seven Mindsets that Hinder Black Men From Relationship Success in my opinion was an article in defense of Black women. yet one woman was so angry about the article that she even resorted to name-calling.

So, I am asking all of you to please take the time to read the article, and give your feedback on it. Ms. Diallo suggested the article did not belong in a forum about Black male and female relationships. What are your thoughts on that? Let’s open this up for discussion.

In the meantime, below please see the comment posted about the article by Ms. Diallo, and my response to her.

Comment posted by Chantaey Renee’ Diallo:

“Diaspora pertains to Black people of African descent dispersed throughout the world, mostly because of slavery! How dare you use the term to describe your nasty, dirty, sexual hellbaths with every type of female racial dog under the sun! Nobody is impressed with your weak, ugly choices and diversities of perversion and it has no place in a forum about Black male-female relationships! Be gone!”

Response Posted by ATIYA – The Marriage Tree:

“Ms. Chantaey Renee’ Diallo,

I am not sure of the root of your anger or your bitterness about the article that was very well articulated by my husband. However, perhaps you misunderstood it. As we know, words have many meanings and can take on shape depending on the orientation of mind of the one who hears or read them. I would recommend that perhaps you do some soul searching to explore why you are so angry over the article that was specifically geared toward men and a response to the article that I wrote., The Five Mindsets that Hinder Black Women from Relationship Success.

The term Diaspora while in most case understandings may refer to Black people that were dispersed or scattered throughout the world as a result of slavery; however that is not the only meaning of the word or the only correct reference of it. The etymological root of the word diaspora is to scatter about, disperse, or across. The context in which my husband used the word is not only grammatically correct, it is accurate. Perhaps you are overly sensitive about the word itself as a result of having a limited understanding of it, have some deeper seated issues regarding Black men who date other “races,” or have a deeper issue with respect to men in general. Perhaps you should read my article, The Five Mindsets that Hinder Black Women From Relationship Success.

The article written by Ingram Jones is most definitely in the correct forum,and your response to it verifies that it is! With all due respect, as a strong Black Woman of integrity, character, and substance who is no doubt walking in purpose and married to an amazing man of character, integrity, and substance, it is my observation that perhaps you might want to go within to discover some things that perhaps may need addressing because your manner of reproach perpetuates the very issue that you appear to be sensitive about.

When articulating your position in such forums. It is one thing to intelligently state your case in a respectful and dignified manner, but to be blatantly disrespectful and abusive to resort to name-calling and character assassination is not only immature, but it is a manifestation of something else. Your problem is not with Ingram’s article but rather one with self, and that is something that you will have to work out. In the meantime, when responding to articles that you may not necessarily agree with, it is your right to do so and actually makes for some wonderful dialogue. However when doing so you may want to exercise some self-control, self-mastery, and more importantly some respect.”


7 Mindsets that Hinder Black Men From Relationship Success

About IngramI am happy to share this post by my husband Ingram, which was written in response to my article, 5 Mindsets that  Hinder Black Women From Relationship Success.

The articles gets into the many mindsets and attitudes men have when it comes to the whole male and female dynamic. Please read and comment on this post. It will be interesting to see  your responses to it. Thanks.

Click Here to Read Article by Ingram Jones.

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