Real Talk About Relationships and Married Life

Posts tagged ‘hero’

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Marriage 101

In this message, Atiya offers 10 tips for couples on how to get through common challenges in marriage. For more information, visit us online at: http://www.themarriagetree.net. To read the article in full, please go to: http://www.blacklifecoaches.net/2013/04/05/marriage-101-lets-stay-together/

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Being a Hero Instead of a Zero in Your Relationship

Every human being has amazing value and potential. However, simply having potential is not enough when it comes to love and marriage. It takes hard work to be in a thriving relationship where both people benefit and grow. It takes a whole lot more than, “I love you.”

When it comes to the substantive part of working that twosome thing, it really is, “What’s love got to do with it?” Sure love is the fundamental, absolutely necessary, and key ingredient in any viable and lasting union. It’s the “essential flavor” of it. But like any baker will tell you, it takes much more than flour to make a cake; and it certainly takes much more than that for it to taste good.

What we do with our potential makes a world of difference in how well we fair in life.

If you are not willing to turn that potential into some kinetic energy and bring some real substance to the table, then your relationship will suffer as a result of it. When you’re engaged in a partnership with someone else, your choices impacts that person. Whether those choices were made during the course of your current relationship or in the past, they can “potentially” impact your present, particularly if you have not addressed the matter.

We all make mistakes, but we must be willing to correct the mistakes and not make excuses for them. We must learn from our blunders and not keep repeating the same ones over and over again. Being “grown” doesn’t make you qualified to be in an intimate relationship with someone. It takes a certain level of maturity and willingness to take joint responsibility with your mate to create circumstances in your relationship to help it grow and the two of you thrive. Repeating cycles of bad choices and decisions is not acting responsibly or even being smart. As a matter of fact, it sets both parties back.

Healthy relationships don’t set you back, they help you to flourish. Now I’m not saying that you won’t or shouldn’t have issues or face challenges in a relationship. Life happens. What I am saying is that people in healthy relationships regardless of their struggles, struggle together each making considerable contributions to help their situation become better. The burden does not just fall on one person. They share the burden, making it lighter for both. It takes teamwork.

Everyone has value. However, everyone does not bring value to a relationship. How are you relating with your mate? Ask yourself the following questions to determine if you are being a “Hero or Zero” in your relationship.

10 Questions to Ask Yourself to Determine If You’re Being a “Hero or Zero”

  1. What do I offer in my relationship that helps my significant other to grow and evolve in their life?
  2. How do I complement my mate and his/her gifts, talents, and abilities?
  3. How is my mate growing as a result of my relationship with him/her?
  4. Are my partner’s circumstances improving as a result of my relationship with him/her?
  5. What is my significant other gaining from being with me?
  6. How do I contribute to my partner’s success?
  7. Do my actions promote the health and well-being of my partner and our relationship?
  8. Am I doing what is necessary to help my partner and our relationship thrive?
  9. Am I being resourceful or helpful in contributing to the financial health of our relationship?
  10. Do I have a vision and a plan for my life, and am I actively working my plan to improve my condition, my mate’s condition, and the condition of our relationship?

After you have taken a good hard look at yourself, look at your situation honestly and without the rose-colored glasses, and ask the next important question “Is my significant other being a Hero or Zero in our relationship?” After you have evaluated that, ask yourself one last question, “What am I going to do about it?”

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