Real Talk About Relationships and Married Life

Posts tagged ‘decision making’

Video

How to date with purpose and discover your own truth Video Interview with ATIYA

Hi,

This is a video I wanted to share with you as I recently did an interview talking about love, relationships and dating with purpose.

Thank you so much for supporting the StraightForwardTalk Blog page and remember if you have any questions please feel free tor reach out via my website http://www.themarriagetree.net or maybe you want to contact me directly

Atiya@themarriagetree.net

Have a blessed Day

ATIYA

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Video

“Your Dreams & Visions Matter”

My Husband series Ingram Jones talks back latest video I wanted to share with you so that you can be as inspired as I was listening to this today. As always, we appreciate your comments, feedback as we too are still growing. Have a blessed week and enjoy the video!

From Dating to Marriage- The Process with Ingram & Atiya

“From DATING to MARRIAGE”- The process with Ingram & Atiya

In this video Husband & Wife Team Ingram & Atiya discuss the process from dating into married life. Both share their experiences and give some useful coaching relationship tips.

How to Date
How To Love
How to get married
Relationship Tips
Relationship Coaching
Ingram & Atiya

http://www.ingramandatiya.com

http://www.themarriagetree.net

21 Day Twin Soul Journey Of The Heart- A Free Gift From ATIYA

21-DAY
Twin Soul Journey of the Heart
A GIFT FOR YOU
WITH ATIYA
A FREE Meditation & Spiritual Retreat

Welcome to the Light!
I AM ATIYA – The Marriage Strategist.

What if all you had to do was make one minor shift to have a great relationship and marriage?

What if finding the right person was really very simple and not as hard as many might think?

You can have:

a happy and safe emotional environment.

a committed, secure, and enduring relationship.

a steamy and hot sex life.

a new perspective of yourself, your life,and your relationship.

I know that there are numerous marriage counselors in the U.S. and a vast selection of worldwide couples therapy programs to choose from. However, my conversation with you as The Marriage Strategist and a professional marriage and relationship coach is about awakening to the awesome power of love to experience the most fulfilling relationship ever imaginable on a soul level.

Let me show you how:

to connect on a soul level.

to move into a positive and rewarding experience for both you AND your partner.

to experience a life and relationship filled with mutual inspiration and genuine respect.

to establish a solid, healthy and happy enduring relationship that leaves both you and your mate personally empowered.

If you are not married, then let me show you how to make a soul-to-soul connection.

All you have to do is:

TAKE ACTION & INVEST IN YOUR SELF AND RELATIONSHIP!

Work with me and I guarantee that your life and relationship will not
be the same. The transformational value that you will receive and the
tangible results that you will realize when you and your mate commit
to the process and your success, will be amazing!

http://www.themarriagetree.net/21-DayTwinSoulJourneyofTheHeart.html

Video

Marriage 101

In this message, Atiya offers 10 tips for couples on how to get through common challenges in marriage. For more information, visit us online at: http://www.themarriagetree.net. To read the article in full, please go to: http://www.blacklifecoaches.net/2013/04/05/marriage-101-lets-stay-together/

Gallery

5 Character Traits That Help Women Achieve Relationship Success

happy couples budget 230Have you ever wondered why some women seem to have no problem “getting” really great men while others struggle in that department and seem to always pick up the “deadbeats?” Have you noticed how sometimes you can see a really great looking guy, seems like he has everything going for him, and you look at the arm candy on his arm and wonder to yourself, how in the world did she get him?

See, it’s like this. When men look for marriage material, they are looking much deeper than the coke bottle figure, the Farrah Fawcett hair, the perfect nails and skin, the great job or bank account. Mothers matter to men, and men in the market to marry are usually looking for some very specific attributes and some of these characteristics are home-grown and doesn’t fall very far from the tree in his back yard. When looking for a woman to marry, his mother becomes a key factor in that decision-making process. If he had a good mother and a healthy respect for his mother or the main female guardian figure during his impressionable years, then he will look for a woman who has similar attributes. If he had a horrific childhood experience with his mother or main female care provider, he will look for someone very different and literally run from any woman who reminds him of her. Either way, his mother becomes a big factor in the wife selection process.

Previously we discussed five mindsets that hinder some women from experiencing relationship success. Here, I want to talk about five attributes that help women to achieve relationship success.

Firm & Feminine Francis

Firm and Feminine Francis is a woman who says what she means and means what she says. She is strong yet is able to balance her strength with femininity. She commands what she desires and deserves through her actions. She does not let a man get away with games or walk all over her and she sets the tone at the onset of the relationships. She knows what she wants and accepts nothing less. She is not desperate and knows who she is and her value. Firm and Feminine Francis can inspire a man to be his best self by being her best self. She demonstrates in her carriage and persona what she is about and therefore, men who approaches her does so with honor and respect, because to do otherwise, would be to get shut down in the most feminine and delicate way.

Men love this type of woman because she brings out the best in him, helps him to feel a sense of freedom to express his creativity and vision, while not allowing him to be mediocre.

Confident and Cooking Caroline

Confident and Cooking Caroline has a strong sense of self and needs no man to define her or who she is. She possesses the ability to complement her mate and understands that the quickest way to his heart is through his stomach. Confident and Cooking Caroline is a great cook, has impeccable manners, and a genuinely warm person, which usually gets her labeled as one of those “southern girls.” She keeps her house and has no shame is doing so. She is not a big talker but rather a doer and a quiet companion. She is not a needy woman, and secure in who she is. Men love this type of woman because she is dependable, reliable and emotionally even keel. He can always count on her through thick and thin and she brings him joy.

Sensible and Sensual Sandy

Sensible and Sensual Sandy is the type of woman who has learned how to balance her career and her home. She is spunky, outgoing and is a master at multi-tasking. She may not be able to prepare the best home-cooked meal, but she can cook in other ways, and order up whatever she needs to keep her man happy. Parley is her strong suit and her counseling abilities, as well as the way she tends to her physical attributes keep all eyes on her. She just seems to make everything all right. Men like Sensible and Sensual Sandy because she is a great listener, knows how to shake things up, while keeping things balanced, she is a true helper, and has tact. She is the type of woman who can carry the weight if for some reason he can’t.

Nurturing Nancy

Nurturing Nancy is the type of woman who is like a man’s mother but in a good way. She has many of the attributes of his mother. Nurturing Nancy is good friends with her man’s mother. She learns how to make his favorite meals; she learns how to fold his clothes the way he is accustomed, she learns everything she needs to learn from the first woman in his life, and her home makes him feel at home and reminds him of when he was growing up. Nurturing Nancy has strong mothering qualities, while not letting him forget she is wife material. She is subtle in maintaining her dominion and “Queen Ship” while keeping things “hunky-dory” and at peace with his mother. Nurturing Nancy has a delicate and gentle hand. Men love this type of woman because she is graceful as she offers familiarity and stability.

Trustworthy & Tenacious Trudy

Trustworthy and Tenacious Trudy has a strong backbone and help things remain cohesive stuck together. She is the type of woman who keeps things organized and in order, while being a great friend and partner in business and play. Trustworthy and Tenacious Trudy is down to earth, real, a great ear and her counsel is solid. She is no fuss, no frills, and unpretentious. She is hot or cold, never lukewarm. Trustworthy and Tenacious Trudy is a deeply spiritual woman. She is not judgmental, but she will hold you accountable and responsible for your words and your actions. She is nurturing and steadfast. Men love this type of women because she is a great friend and accepts him for who he is, stands by his side and he trusts her and knows he can manifest his vision with her.

Whether a woman holds any one of these attributes or a combination of them, one thing for sure is, it is not something you can feign. In order to be marriage material, a woman must be authentic. If you attempt to gain a man’s attention based on superficial pretenses, then what you will get is a superficial man. The best attribute a woman can bring to the relationship table is her true and authentic self. That is the best place to start.

Your comments and feedback are welcomed and encouraged.

Gallery

Trying to Find My Way

how_to_deal_with_postmarriage_blues

Dear Atiya,

I will get straight to the point. I have been in a relationship with my husband for 17 years and married for five of those years. I knew him from when we were kids at school and I met him again when I had just ended my first marriage. To cut a long story short I now realize that I just do not love him. I have tried everything from date nights to going away for special weekends which he loves and enjoys but I can just about tolerate them! I would love to love him but it is not happening and as the years go by I feel like something in my soul is dying and I am scared that I will never get back my spark or feel again what it truly means to love someone with heart, body and soul and still be myself, (Especially at my age 44!)

I am constantly at war with myself. Yes it would be so easy to get up and leave because I am an independent woman but honestly feel there is an element of fear because as much as I am so unhappy I do think there is a certain dependency there after so many years? We had separated recently and it was a mutual decision but he moved literally around the corner and kept coming to the house, bearing gifts, doing things around the house and calling almost constantly so eventually I just gave in and he returned. We bought a house together, so here I am back to square one and he thinks that I am not trying but I have no more fight left in me. The cold truth is that he loves me and I just don’t love him. How do I get back to me? The happy loving person I have not seen in years and get rid of this angry, miserable person? I so desperately want my shine back!! Thank you for taking the time out to read this letter, stay blessed.

– SO DESPERATELY LOST AND UNHAPPY!!!

Dear So Desperately Lost and Unhappy:

Thank you for your letter. No one can make you love someone that you just do not love. Everyone has the right to be happy. Now, with that being said, it sounds as if you do not know exactly what you want, and no one is to blame for your casualties of war but you. You may not have any more fight left in you, but it is not fair to emotionally abandon your mate and your marriage. If you do not like the person that you have become, then I would suggest that you decide what you want and stick to your decision. Stop playing games with someone else’s heart because of your own inability to be honest and straightforward. You say you do not love him, but my question to you is, “Do you even love yourself?” Another question I would pose is this, “Is there another man?” and yet a third question is, “Are you sure you even want to be married?”

You want to know how to get back to the loving person that you have not seen in years and get rid of the angry, miserable person? Start by telling the truth to yourself and your mate. Marriage is a serious commitment. It is designed to be a lifetime barring abuse, infidelity and other serious issues that destroy the health and life of the marriage. However, some marriages survive those issues as well.

I cannot tell you to leave or stay. That is for you to decide. What I will say is this. Your husband appears to be making every effort to hold up his vows. You did not mention him being unkind to you. You did not mention him being unfaithful. You did not mention him being abusive or problems he has that is destroying your love for him. As a matter of fact, the way you described him, leads anyone to believe he is a pretty good man that any woman would be blessed to call husband. The marriage relationship has its ups and downs, its ins and outs. It goes through cycles and seasons. It is not always, whirlwind romance. It is up to the couples to make their marriage blissful, and it takes work on both the husband’s and the wife’s part.

Remember, the decision you make impacts not only you. It impacts your husband, your family, friends, and any children that the two of you may have. So before taking any drastic measures, my advice to you is to get counseling for your marriage; get counseling for yourself; and take a good long hard look in the mirror and be sure of what you really want before walking out that door. That grass is not always greener on the other side. Grass is greener because it gets watered.

– Atiya

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