Ladies. Listen up! What you may call a bum or lazy dog is really a “Wonder Dog” in the making and simply needs you to help him tap into his “puppy power.”
The number one way to support a man when he is searching for a job, unemployed, or haven’t quite figured things out, is to encourage him and “big up” his gifts and talents. Men need to be admired and appreciated and made all over. When a woman consistently reinforces his worth and value as a man and remind him of all the things she admires and appreciates about him, it helps to give him the necessary drive and positive energy to do more and better.
The worst thing to do is criticize him. Instead, reaffirm that he is still the man and remind him that it is not about finding a job or role that he is worthy of, but rather discovering one that perhaps might be worthy of him. Remind him that his time and energy is just as valuable as the one seeking to hire an employee and any company or organization would be foolish not to take the opportunity to work with such a fantastic and brilliant man.
It’s important to understand that men often equate their value by the size of their pockets, and when many feel that they do not measure up, they may project their own feelings of lack of self-worth and insecurity on their mate, especially if their mate is a girl that rocks and manifesting in the financial department!
During a time when a man is out of work, many become resentful and will tend to project their disappointments and frustration on their wives or mates. This is not a rule, but passing blame happens. In this dynamic, a woman has to be mature, and put on her big girl draws and not make it about her but make the situation about what her man needs, and then what the household needs. She determines the positive energy flow in the house and therefore must not allow herself to succumb to negativity or react to it when it presents its ugly head.
While it is not helpful for a woman to help her man “look” for a job unless he specifically asks her to do that, she can give him encouraging space, meaning the room for him to see his greatness and then take responsibility to transform his situation. She can motivate and inspire him to have a fantastic outlook on finding something that is suitable to him by reminding him of what he is good at during regular conversations with him. She can “plant the seeds of positivity” as he figures it out. She can encourage him to do something he has always wanted to do and even inspire him to not just “look” for a job but consider “creating” one for himself.
How to Help Your Man Go From Unemployed to Super Hero by:
- Ask him what you can do to help and be willing to follow through.
- Write a letter of recommendation or reference on his behalf.
- Validate his gifts and talents and vouch for him.
- Help make the process of becoming employed a fun one and help him to view it as an amazing and new opportunity to create the life he chooses, rather than a stressful time.
- Clear off the kitchen or dining room table and help him plan a strategy for self-employment or business that you are willing to invest in either with your time, talent, and/or your resources.
There are so many creative ways to support a man when he is out of work and help him to have a healthy outlook in his situation. Yet one of the biggest keys is to let him know without a shadow of a doubt that the money or job does not make the man but the character of the man is what makes a man and that no matter who out there does not believe in him, that you believe in him and together the two of you can get through it!