Real Talk About Relationships and Married Life

small photo for spreakerRecently, Ingram Jones wrote an article that is posted on Black Life Coaches Network entitled, 7 Mindsets that Hinder Black Men From Relationship Success. This article has apparently stirred up some folks and now their britches aren’t quite touching their behind. SMILE.

Normally I would only respond to a comment when it warrants it in the forum where the comment was posted and where the article is published. However, one comment on his article required in my observation a more expanded response as the very subject matter that Ingram was touching on drew such anger form one woman in particular, and I was puzzled as to why? Seven Mindsets that Hinder Black Men From Relationship Success in my opinion was an article in defense of Black women. yet one woman was so angry about the article that she even resorted to name-calling.

So, I am asking all of you to please take the time to read the article, and give your feedback on it. Ms. Diallo suggested the article did not belong in a forum about Black male and female relationships. What are your thoughts on that? Let’s open this up for discussion.

In the meantime, below please see the comment posted about the article by Ms. Diallo, and my response to her.

Comment posted by Chantaey Renee’ Diallo:

“Diaspora pertains to Black people of African descent dispersed throughout the world, mostly because of slavery! How dare you use the term to describe your nasty, dirty, sexual hellbaths with every type of female racial dog under the sun! Nobody is impressed with your weak, ugly choices and diversities of perversion and it has no place in a forum about Black male-female relationships! Be gone!”

Response Posted by ATIYA – The Marriage Tree:

“Ms. Chantaey Renee’ Diallo,

I am not sure of the root of your anger or your bitterness about the article that was very well articulated by my husband. However, perhaps you misunderstood it. As we know, words have many meanings and can take on shape depending on the orientation of mind of the one who hears or read them. I would recommend that perhaps you do some soul searching to explore why you are so angry over the article that was specifically geared toward men and a response to the article that I wrote., The Five Mindsets that Hinder Black Women from Relationship Success.

The term Diaspora while in most case understandings may refer to Black people that were dispersed or scattered throughout the world as a result of slavery; however that is not the only meaning of the word or the only correct reference of it. The etymological root of the word diaspora is to scatter about, disperse, or across. The context in which my husband used the word is not only grammatically correct, it is accurate. Perhaps you are overly sensitive about the word itself as a result of having a limited understanding of it, have some deeper seated issues regarding Black men who date other “races,” or have a deeper issue with respect to men in general. Perhaps you should read my article, The Five Mindsets that Hinder Black Women From Relationship Success.

The article written by Ingram Jones is most definitely in the correct forum,and your response to it verifies that it is! With all due respect, as a strong Black Woman of integrity, character, and substance who is no doubt walking in purpose and married to an amazing man of character, integrity, and substance, it is my observation that perhaps you might want to go within to discover some things that perhaps may need addressing because your manner of reproach perpetuates the very issue that you appear to be sensitive about.

When articulating your position in such forums. It is one thing to intelligently state your case in a respectful and dignified manner, but to be blatantly disrespectful and abusive to resort to name-calling and character assassination is not only immature, but it is a manifestation of something else. Your problem is not with Ingram’s article but rather one with self, and that is something that you will have to work out. In the meantime, when responding to articles that you may not necessarily agree with, it is your right to do so and actually makes for some wonderful dialogue. However when doing so you may want to exercise some self-control, self-mastery, and more importantly some respect.”


Comments on: "Response to a Comment on 7 Mindsets that Hinder Black Men From Relationship Success" (4)

  1. 7 Mindsets that Hinder Black Men from Successful Relationships came on time because it is Expedient that we as people Know that we has been destroyed: mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. In the process of our destruction our Black Men in Particularly were instilled with Fear; we could not look into the eyes of our enemy, we were launched; staked in fire; we were destroyed with some of incomprehensivable techniques that a people could ever imagine.

    Our Black Men were not allowed to have a decent relationship with his Black woman nor Father His children; The Black Man was always on the look out or run for his life as he Slaved in the fields and as a house negro (uncle tom) his male organs were cut off.

    The Black Man (some) still live in fear, because he lacks the Knowledge of his self and kind and he refuses to get the Knowledge (Truth) that will free his Mind to become an independent thinker and to once again develop all the Fields of Trade that he Once Was to Be Free to build His Own Nation; and it takes a Free Black Woman to Help Him Meet His Obligation.

    The Honorable Elijah Muhammad teaches in Message To The Black Man to Know yourself, Understand yourself, Accept yourself, Be yourself and Do for Self. He said; to Elevated, Educate and Protect your Black Woman and until the Black Man does this he Will Never have a Successful Relationship, nor will he have Respect and The PROPER Respect from other People of Culture.

    The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan has establish a structure of Atonement; A Divinely Guided Process and Study Guides that teaches and will Instill in us High Morals and Principles to Support the Black Man and Woman as we develop and go through the Process of Transformation. In Hosea a verse in the Bible says: My people are destroyed for the lack of Knowledge; in another verse it says: because they REFUSE Knowledge.

    so it is with The Teachings of The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad; we look for knowledge everywhere but among our very own to JUSTIFY OUR SEEKING AND ESTABLISHING RELATIONSHIPS OUTSIDE OF OUR OWN PEOPLE.

    So, thank you for YOUR HONESTY, EXPERIENCE AND LOVE enough That you would Give Back to Inspire and Motivate The Black Man and Woman; that we can once again Be a Family and Civilization.

    I pray for your spiritual strength that your face will stay turned to Allah God. It takes and Genuine Loving Man who Wants for His Brother What He wants for His Self and Only a Man of God Divinely Guided Can Face a World of People and share their experience and a male.

    Thank you.

  2. Yes..,maturity and self control

  3. Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it.

    Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! However, how can we

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