Real Talk About Relationships and Married Life

Archive for July, 2013

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Atiya reads to Grenadian Children about Sexual Abuse (GNOW)

 

Grenada National Organization Of Women (GNOW) Invited inspirational Speaker Atiya to read to the young people at the “Speak Out” Exhibition to raise awareness of domestic violence and sexual abuse.
Atiya reads a book called “Please Tell” written by a 9 year old named Jessie who  had previously been sexually abused.

Official Website http://www.themarriagetree.net
Atiya’s Books http://www.themarriagetree.net/Books.html

The Marriage Tree Website http://www.themarriagetree.net
Atiya AMAZON Page http://www.amazon.com/Atiya/e/B004MB7SSA

StraightForwardTalk With Atiya http://www.straightforwardtalk.net

Atiya Facebook Fan Page https://www.facebook.com/pages/Atiya/165740830139571

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Video

StraightForward Talk with ATIYA -Live Radio, Ep 3

In episode 3  of Straightforward talk with Atiya, She  answers another relationship letter from a listener, tackles the topic of social media  (Facebook, Twitter) and its effects on relationships and in marriage and also answers a question about the outward affection of love shown by couples on the island of Grenada.

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Happy 7th Birthday J.J.

Birthday card for J.J.

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Understanding How Women Communicate Part 1

clarityWhen you travel across the globe, one of the things you quickly learn is that there are cultural differences that play a major factor in relationship building. Depending on the understanding or lack thereof between cultures, you can either build successful relationships that blossom into wonderful exchanges of information and learning experiences, or your interactions can be challenged and weighed down by misconceptions and constant misunderstandings. However, one thing for sure is that no matter where you go in the world, how women interact with one another will most definitely set the tone for any environment.

How women “feel,” is a matter of importance and can shape a community or village. This rings true whether you are in Africa, Europe, the Caribbean, or North America. It does not matter if men think a woman‘s feelings are rational, sound, or based on logical reasoning, the truth still remains that if a woman feels a certain way, that is how she feels and no woman need ever apologize for how she “feels.” It’s her truth. Likewise, it makes no sense to argue with a person’s “feelings.” It is their truth.

What many men do not understand is that women have a fundamental need to express how they “feel” in order to be healthy and happy. The relationships they engage in whether it is with men or other women must be ones that help them to “feel” physically, mentally, and emotionally safe to express how they feel. If a relationship ceases to give feelings of safety to express how she feels, a woman will most likely distance herself from that relationship or become closed with respect to meaningful interactions.

Through the process of expression, women work through very powerful emotions that drive the course and dynamics of their relationships and help them to feel a sense of overall well-being. A woman’s feelings are the tender or sensitive side of her nature, and if she feels that her “feelings” are not important, do not matter, or not considered, she will retreat from the relationship whether it is deemed appropriate or not because she perceives this as danger, and women need to feel safe.

Women are masters of communicating subtly and often they send messages to one another as women that often go beyond a man’s conscious awareness. How women “feel” about other women are mostly derived from subtle forms of communication that has occurred between them. This exchange, while many times happens in the presence of men, it’s often outside of their perception or intuitive sense. This is the area that sparks many arguments in relationships, especially about other women.

So a message to husbands who may not fully comprehend the “drama” going on, take a closer look at the interaction between the women around you. Ask your wife about how she is feeling. When she tells you, don’t minimize her feelings or the magnitude of how she feels about the situation. There just might be some major battles going on and the truth is perhaps you might just be the “booty.”

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Straighforwardtalk Radio Show on TheKeys107 Network

StraightForward Talk with ATIYA is a premiere live talk radio show hosted by ATIYA (author, speaker, trainer, and founder of The Marriage Tree) Every Sunday from 4-5pm broadcasted from the Island of Grenada.
http://www.themarriagetree.net offering sensible, real, open and honest, straightforward relationship coaching on the spot. ATIYA has a no-nonsense style inspiring accountability, responsibility and a strong sense of moral integrity. While no question is off limits, her responses and coaching methods may not always be in a “feel good” manner, yet is above board, unpretentious and straight-to-the-point.

As a life coach and trainer, ATIYA does not give advice but rather help you to discover practical solutions for your relationship dilemma or situation. Therefore, you ask the questions and she’ll help you discover your own truth for a better relationship and marriage.

StraightForward Talk with ATIYA, real talk about relationships and married life that helps you to make real changes at the “drop of a dime.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thekeys107/2013/07/14/straightforwardtalk-with-atiya-ep-1

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Atiya-Author,Speaker,Writer

Author, Trainer and Speaker Atiya, founder of The Marriage Tree has over the past 20 years, dedicated her life to honing her craft and, indeed, her calling — to empower, build and maximize human potential by affecting profound transformation in people’s attitudes, perspectives and behaviors. She has been the catalyst responsible for inspiring countless people worldwide to realize their dreams and achieve joy, success and fulfillment in life.

Now she’s bringing all her past experiences, education, and business-development skills from her considerable history as a speaker, author and life coach to focus on her core message: marital harmony ~ extended and profound.

Official Website http://www.themarriagetree.net
Atiya’s Books http://www.themarriagetree.net/Books.html

Video

Atiya on Breakfast Chat show “DayBreak Grenada”

DaybreakGrenada, is shown on GBN, the largest media network in Grenada, West Indies. Atiya was invited on a guest on the show to address the changing attitudes towards marriage and it’s impact on Caribbean communities.

Atiya has written several books, including, From Ordinary to Extraordinary, and has inspired audiences worldwide to realize their dreams and achieve joy, success and fulfillment in life. She is a strong advocate, life coach, and catalyst that empowers, builds and maximizes human potential by affecting profound transformation in people’s attitudes, perspectives and behaviors toward life and marriage.

Atiya, founder of The Marriage Tree, has, over the past 20 years, dedicated her life to honing her craft and, indeed, her calling — to empower, build and maximize human potential by affecting profound transformation in people’s attitudes, perspectives and behaviors. She has been the catalyst responsible for inspiring countless people worldwide to realize their dreams and achieve joy, success and fulfillment in life.

Now she’s bringing all her past experiences, education, and business-development skills from her considerable history as a speaker, author and life coach to focus on her core message: marital harmony ~ extended and profound.

Official Website http://www.themarriagetree.net
Atiya’s Books http://www.themarriagetree.net/Books.html
Email : Atiya@Themarriagetree.net

DISCLAIMER: This video was shot via a mobile phone we hope to upload the show as soon as possible.

“StraightForward Talk with ATIYA” to Debut July 14th on the Keys 107 Network | PRLog

“StraightForward Talk with ATIYA” to Debut July 14th on the Keys 107 Network | PRLog.

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5 Mindsets That Hinder Black Women From Relationship Success

Gallery

Taking Responsibility for Your Marriage

responsibility for marriageMarriage is one of those amazing conditions that require struggle; and sometimes the challenges faced can be so overwhelming that you may want to throw in the towel and give up. However, the many hurdles you encounter in your relationship can be overcome when there are two willing parties who desire harmony and two willing parties willing and able to make the necessary adjustments. Further, couples can be victorious over great odds when they take responsibility for their marriage and be accountable for how they relate to one another.

Things to Consider as you Prepare to Take Responsibility for Your Marriage

  • Your willingness and the course of action you take to modify counterproductive behaviors which hinder you from accomplishing your goal as a couple to stay together, is key.
  • A prepared and committed mind is a mind that has been made up. When you make up your mind to make your marriage work, only then can you begin to tackle the problems that threaten or weaken it.
  • A healthy marriage takes two people working collectively and cooperatively together and both saying, “I will,” then do.
  • “No one has ever won a race, they haven’t run; nor completed a task they haven’t begun.”
From Ordinary to Extraordinary by ATIYA

From Ordinary to Extraordinary by ATIYA

As I outline in the book, From Ordinary to Extraordinary, “Although struggle happens when working to accomplish something worthy, preparation helps you to put yourself in proper condition or readiness for the undertaking you are embarking upon. Putting yourself in proper condition entails setting your mind and firmly fixing your intentions to complete the task at hand. Preparation calls for you to completely make up your mind to accomplish the assignment and to cut off whatever is necessary in order to be successful.”

Responsibility and Accountability Factor 1: You must cut off those things that hinder your relationship. For example, in a relationship dynamic, a couple may be facing alcoholism, physical or emotional abuse, neglect, workaholic tendencies, poor communication. The list can go on. However, unless the husband and wife modify their behavior, they will continue in a vicious cycle of more of the same and sometimes worse.

“During the course of marriage, the couple may be faced with a variety of challenges. Further, they may be confronted with matters, which will require them to make some very difficult decisions. In marriage, making a commitment requires them, as outlined in the vows, to forsake all others, and sometimes the decisions that may need to be made can be very painful.”

Responsibility and Accountability Factor 2: “Some decisions can be very difficult, yet to forsake all others means to give up, refuse, deny, decline, or leave altogether. Within the context of the commitment in marriage, anything that threatens or weakens the bond between husband and wife; causes abandonment or isolation of one spouse from the other; jeopardizes the unity of the couple; robs husband and/or wife of marital bliss, peace or joy; causes unnecessary friction or is a nuisance; or anything else that becomes a threat to the longevity and success of the marriage, must be re-evaluated and a firm decision made with respect to that which is causing harm or the threat of harm to exist.”

“The marriage becomes priority due to the commitment made. The aim or objective is for the couple to stay together. However, in staying together, a focus must also be on keeping the marriage relationship in the same or better condition as when it first began. In order to achieve the goal intended for the marriage, both husband and wife must heavily incline toward one another. They must create habits of mind and adhere to practices which preserves the marriage, protects it against attack, and supports its continued existence. Also, both husband and wife must make adjustments when and where necessary in order to adhere to principles that will keep them fixed in the direction of their goal – A life-long marital commitment and marital bliss.”

Responsibility and Accountability Factor 3: “A couple’s tendencies, activities, responses, actions and circumstances must be in accordance with honesty, trust, sincerity, fairness, lawfulness of purpose, and absent of any intent to defraud or act maliciously. Their relationship must be clear of behaviors that are harmful and injurious; otherwise it is characterized as abuse and abuse, physical or otherwise, makes it very difficult to sustain a marriage.”

“Abuse is improper and gross misuse of the marriage relationship. It must be eliminated immediately because it undermines and attacks the very core of the marriage threatening the life of the marriage and the two people in the marriage relationship. A marriage is unable to thrive when abuse exists, whether it is physical, verbal, emotional, or mental.

When an abusive situation occurs, it must be immediately corrected. Abusive behavior creates an unhealthy environment and compromises the integrity of the marriage.

Responsibility and Accountability Factor 4: In marriage couples are sometimes confronted with decisions they have to make that are very difficult. Abusive situations are one of those situations. When abuse continues to exist in a relationship and is not corrected, the decision to leave the marriage may be the only alternative, and this too can be a very painful decision.

“Staying the course with respect to any goal is possible. It may sometimes be tough, but it’s possible. Your desire to attain your goal must be greater than the challenges that may come up as you are working to reach it. Keeping your focus might sometimes seem like an impossible feat, especially as obstacles arise. However, although it is not always easy to achieve something of value, you can achieve what you will, just continue pressing on until you reach the mark!

Responsibility and Accountability Factor 5: Married couples must be willing to take responsibility for their marriage and do what is necessary to sustain it. Pride, ego, stubbornness, insecurities, or any other stumbling blocks can be eliminated with a willing heart and the commitment to do what is necessary. Both husband and wife are accountable for their own behavior; and the way they behave must be with all due consideration to their partner and their partner’s well-being.

“To commit, is to emotionally and morally engage. When one emotionally and morally engages, they become involved with, bind themselves to and hold fast to that which they are committed. Further, they attach their feelings and emotions to the matter and shape their behavior in a practical and applicable way as to not weaken the bond to that which they have committed.”

In other words, make the necessary changes to change your condition, take responsibility for your marriage and be accountable for the energy you put into it.

Excerpts in this article are from ATIYA’s book, From Ordinary to Extraordinary. For more information on purchasing this book, please visit the book section of her website at www.themarriagetree.net

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